Your Next Masterpiece

Honestly, I wonder why I made this. As a safe haven, I want to say, for the parts of myself that cannot be for the eyes of those around me. Perhaps, just boredom. Maybe I'll never quite know, but here I am - in fragments of myself that are yours for the taking. Go ahead, put the pieces together. Make a picture. I could be your next masterpiece.

1.] First and foremost, I am a Christian.

2.] I am secluded, secretive, and selective. I build walls to see who cares enough to tear them down. If you do not feel like you have the strength to do so, maybe I'll toss a rope to the other side. Just knock loud enough to get my attention - it gets lonely over here, sometimes.

3.] My heart goes out to the members of the PostSecret Community. They are some of the most amazing people I have ever had the pleasure of conversing with and I hope to meet some of them someday.

4.] Music speaks the words of my soul that I'm too afraid to. Listen, to my voice or the song blasting through the radio, you may discover a side to myself that no one else has yet.

5.] Sometimes, I feel lost. I know that somewhere along the line, I took a wrong turn in life, but.. for now, the scenery is beautiful and my dreams are my constellations. I know if I continue to follow them, eventually, I'll end up where I'm supposed to be.

6.] July is going to be the most beautiful and terrifying month of my life. If you don't know why, ask me.

7.] As soon as I earn enough money from my Waffle House job, I'm getting my first two tattoos - "forgive" on one wrist and "forget" on the other, written in some elegant cursive. These two words define who I am and who I strive to be.

8.] I practice yoga and meditation. Cut the lights, turn the music on soft, light up a few candles, and let yourself go. Try it, sometimes, even the most difficult situations can become justified and explained when you allow your mind to wander.

9.] As flattering as it is, I hate being the big sister/role model figure for girls a few years younger than me. I've made too many mistakes to be considered a good influence.

10.] At eighteen years old, I still sleep with plushies and I'm hopelessly addicted to the cuteness of Pokemon and Hello Kitty. I have a Tamagotchi on my key chain and still watch cartoons. I still love going to the park for the swing sets and I get butterflies when a guy pushes me on them. Little things like these are what keeps me happy.

11.] I'm OCD, so there are random, unnecessary things that bother me. Take, the number eleven and it's multiples, for instance - I hate them, they're not pretty. No, I don't take pills for this either.

12.] I was taught not to believe in Horoscopes, but lately.. the ones on Myspace have been freakishly accurate with me. I wonder, sometimes, if there's any truth in them.

13.] Secretly, I am still in love with him. If he ever decided that I was the girl that he couldn't live without and was willing to do anything in his power to prove this to me, I would let him. I can't make the first move or I would, honestly. For now, I just feel too hurt by his words to allow myself to go running after him.

14.] I believe in the existance of the supernatural, from vampyres to having psychic abilities to everything in-between or beyond.

15.] Despite my bold nature, I am extremely self-conscious about my physical appearance. I don't know what I would ever do if someone actually looked me in the eyes and told me that I am beautiful, because I would find myself confused.

16.] At times, I feel like a know-it-all. Not because I am, but because I spend wayyy too much time looking into the science, history, and culture of everything that interests me. I am thirsty for knowledge, perhaps a little bit too much.

17.] I love road trips. I love the long rides to where ever my destination is. It gives me an opprotunity to see a change of scenary and also gives me a chance to have some memorable [or random] conversations with whoever I'm with.

18.] My biggest pet peeve? Politics. None of the presidental candidates are worth running this country, because none of them will steer us into a self-relying direction. Also, some political figure here in Alabama is attempting to push an extremely violating law onto its citizens - one that bans all "unnatural" forms of sexual pleasures. No sex toys. No masturbation. No same-sex contact. I promise you, if this passes, I'll break this law as often as I please.

19.] I have several very odd fears. Driving. Escalators. Any form of touch [excluding people that I'm comfortable with]. The military [which my parents are pushing me to join]. Walking over unfamiliar bridges. Water that is deeper than my body height. The Burger King or Ronald McDonald. Don't ask me why.

20.] By no means am I anywhere near being through describing myself, but I'll end it on this note. I see beauty in everything. I see purity and kindness resting inside of every person. I see blessings in every tragedy. I wish everyone could.